George at ASDA asked me to choose my festival essentials from their site, so I picked this cute brightly coloured dress and – naturally – a kagoul. My top tip is NEVER go to a festival without waterproofs. And this one has polka dots! I always feel a bit like playing dress-up at Glastonbury - an excuse to wear those brightly coloured tights or that mad eyeshadow or that giant hat - ah, why not? Also, bright colours mean that people can spot you in a crowd, especially amongst the Kate Moss clones. True fact: I once saw Kate Moss at Glastonbury and barely noticed her, because her clones are so effective. Which brings me to the second top tip of this post - famous people - an army of clones are useful for being inconspicuous. Also, good for alibis.
Are you lucky enough to go to a festival this year? If so I HATE YOU. (Not really, I’m just seething with jealousy.) If it’s your first time, here are my top tips. That's right - MORE top tips. This post is choc-a-bloc with top tips.
1 – Even if it’s supposed to be beautiful weather, pack as if it’s going to rain torrentially. It probably will.
2 – Never underestimate how cold you’ll be at night. Take forty billion layers.
3 - Wear a sunhat in the day, even if it's not that sunny. Trust me, a festival is not a good place to have sunstroke. No. TRUST ME.
4 - Remember that playsuits mean you may be pretty much naked in a portaloo with a dodgy lock.
5 - Keep anti bac handgel and loo roll on your person at all times because festivals are gross.
6 - Air beds are pricey and heavy. Buy a lilo instead!
7 - See some awesome bands, but also see some awesome weird stuff. The weird stuff is my favourite.
8 - If jeans get wet, they will not dry. Tights dry instantly! Wear tights. Not jeans. Down with jeans.
9 - Cider is yummy.
10 - You know that hilarious group who like to sing round their campfire all night? Yeah, they're AWFUL. Pack earplugs. You'll need them.
What are your festival top tips?